Healing doesn’t mean that damage never existed. It means that the damage no longer controls our lives. You might have struggled with depression, or you may have been in an unhealthy relationship, or you might have experienced abuse or neglect. We need to attend to those experiences, process them, and find a way for us to move forward, so we can have healthy lives. We cannot change what has happened to us or the symptoms we have experienced, but we can decide not to be diminished by our past negative experiences. We need to be selfish and think about how we can help ourselves feel better every day. Take that first step in the healing process. For some, it might be a trip to Mexico. For others, it might be a trip to see a counselor. Or end a relationship. Or start a new job. Or exercise. Whatever it is, you need to take that first step and continue to take steps every day.
I also found this daily mantra very useful (author unknown):
This morning I woke up and reminded myself that
My soul is beautiful,
My mind is powerful,
My heart is made of gold,
And I’ve got so many damn good things going for me that I literally do not need anyone who isn’t going to treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
Homework: Try to challenge yourself to do something you were afraid of or uncomfortable doing. For example, go to Starbucks and sit there alone without the phone for 10 minutes, just drinking coffee. Text a friend you have been wanting to contact. Register for a class you wanted to take. Go on a date. Run. Tell negative people you don’t have time for them. Don’t answer to an insult. Take a bus and watch people. Go to the museum. Try a new restaurant. Take that first step!